This week, the Holy Spirit impressed me to focus on a particular subject
on family and marriage to write in my blog. It’s been a long while since I
last wrote here.And, I’m thinking what to write. Suddenly, I bumped into
this video preaching by Rick Warren. A pastor writer and a world renowned
author of the bestselling book “The Purpose Driven Life” and “The Purpose
I mind you check it, too and since I do find it sensible and helpful in
biblical perspective, I list some important points he mentioned here that
you would ponder on about “Who you should or not Marry with”.
Two choices in life
1. Will I ever get married?
2. If I do, who’s it gonna be?
God can’t move a parked car, it must be moving. God leads, guides us …if
you say, “I’m just gonna wait and wait, nothing’s gonna happen.It’s your
choice, God leads us, guides us and gives us guidelines, but ultimately
it’s your choice.
1. There ISN’T only one “right person” for me!
2. Love alone is not enough reason to marry
God doesn’t tell who to marry but He’ll give you the description of the
kind of person He desires for you to marry.
And if you want God’s blessing, protection, and success on your marriage
which you do, then better listen to Him about the kind of person He tells
you to marry.
Deal breaker list.
(If you don’t match on any of this, you better not marry a person)
1. WE MUST HAVE SPIRITUAL MATURITY
God designed marriage to be like a three leg stool – wife, husband and
God, with the absence of God or any of these leg, would make the stool
READ: 2 Corinthians 6:14- 15; Romans 1:12
How can you help each other if one of you has no faith?
2. WE MUST HAVE LIFE PURPOSE COMPATABILITY
READ: Amos 3:3
You’re not ready to marry until you know the purpose for your life. What
is my purpose? What is my
mission? What is my calling? What is my
vocation? Why did God put me here?
When you die and face God, He’d ask you two questions:
1. What did you do with my son Jesus?
2. What did you do with the gift I gave you?
He’d ask you if you’d fulfill your purpose and not, “Who did you marry?”
1 Peter 4:10; Hebrews 3:1 …”to be partners in God’s calling.”
You can ask this: Do we have the same purpose?
If you could match his/her purpose to yours then you’d aligned these
purposes and become one, then the result is… that gave impact.
A bad marriage is a thousand times worse than staying single for the rest
of your life.
When your purpose is aligned, it’s enormous power and fulfillment.
3. WE MUST BOTH BE EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY
4. WHOEVER I MARRY MUST HAVE NO UNCONTROLLED ANGER
5. WHOEVER I MARRY MUST HAVE NO ADDICTIONS
6. WHOEVER I MARRY MUST HAVE NO BITTERNESS
Whatever you resent, you begin to resemble.
I’m never gonna be my mother. oh really?
The more you hammer a nail, the more it goes deeper into the wood. You
stop to resist it, then you’ll release it.
Heb 12: 15
How do they treat their parents?
You don’t marry a person, you’re marrying a family.
7. WHOEVER I MARRY MUST NOT BE SELFISH
READ: Prov 18:1; Proverbs 28: 25 “Selfish people cause trouble.”
8. WHOEVER I MARRY MUST NOT BE GREEDY
READ: Prov 15:27; Prov 23:6
9. WHOEVER I MARRY MUST BE GENEROUS AND KIND
Prov 11:25 “A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will
himself be refreshed.”
Prov 11:17 “A kind-hearted woman gains respect…and a kind man benefits
himself, but a cruel people brings trouble on themselves.”
10. WHOEVER I MARRY MUST TELLS THE TRUTH
READ: Prov 20:7
Love is base on trust and trust is base in truth.
If you don’t tell me the truth, how can I trust you, and if I can’t trust you
how, how can I love you?
Guys, if you lie to a girl you are dating, then you are going to lie to
your wife later on.
Girls, if the guys you’re dating is lying to you right now, he will lie
even more when he is married. Don’t marry to those who doesn’t have
As you notice in the entire list, there is no one word about appearance,
about how they look, about how sexy..
Our culture teaches us the exact opposite of what the bible teaches us
about who to marry…our culture teaches you that the number 1 you need in
marriage is that you need to be sexy, good looking. Our entire society is
built on the idea that you marry somebody beautiful. And if you marry
somebody who’s attractive then your marriage will going to be great and
you’ll be happy and you’ll going to meet every need in life. Then if that
would be true, the marriage that will last the longest would be hollywood
marriages, because they’re all better looking than all of us. Is that
true? Do the best looking people had the longest lasting marriages? Ask Kim
Kardashian. Not a chance. It has zero to do with the success of your
marriage. I tell you this, you’ll not going to stay sexy forever.
The hollywood myth is that all you need to get married is romantic
feeling, sexual attraction, who can get rid of your loneliness, and
that’ll be it. No it won’t. These are not good reasons to marry. You may
be tired of being notice or not notice and you wanna be noticed.
Somebody’s paying you little attention and you’ll say “I would marry this
person who’s giving me much attention.” No. Do you have spiritual unity?
Do you have life purpose compatability? Are they emotionally healthy?
Then you’ll ask, “T’m not sure if I could find anybody who could fits
this..?” Oh really? I did, and I know you can, too. God always gives His
best to those who leave the choice to Him.
I wanted God’s best.. in my life and I got it.
The longer you date somebody, the more painful it’d going to be
Try to figure our that when you do have the 1st 2 days of your date, look
if they fit any of this (in the list)..look for this things I suggest that
in the 1st early dates you have, spend time talking than watching
movies…because if you get into a relationship over a long period of
time, the more painful it’s going to be to get out of it. So you wanna
find out quickly. Do we have spiritual unity…and so on? But he had
biceps, she dresses nice..forget it! That’s all he’s got.
Prov 6:2-4 “If you have trapped yourself in an agreement and are caught by
what you said—quick, get out of it immediately!…Swallow your pride; go
and get your name released. Don’t put it off! Do it now! Don’t rest until
Prov 28:23 “In the end, people appreciate frankness more than flattery.”
Don’t prolong a relationship that you know is going nowhere. Don’t
“Do you have uncontrolled anger?” – “No!!! I don’t!!!”
“Are you selfish?” — “Can we talk about me?”
“Are you greedy?” — “Would you pick up the cab?”
You can figure this one up pretty quick.
If you wanna get married. God bless you. The bible says, “He who finds a
wife, finds a good thing.” It’s a blessing of God. So you need to begin a
personal relationship with Jesus Christ yourself. You need to be
spiritually connected to God to get that 3rd leg of the stool .
To God be the glory!