Aug 21, 2019 —I got a dream in the morning. In my dream I saw myself among believers. There is a facilitator, who’s spiritually equipped or matured that gave us a task. It’s like attending a spiritual retreat wherein you’ll ponder about your life. She asked us to eliminate those things which cause us anxiety and write them in a piece of paper. I got two major reasons that causes my anxiety — first, fame or popularity; second, career.
Then I could hear a small still voice, I knew that the Holy Spirit was speaking to me saying, “If you don’t draw your happiness from career and fame, you would not feel uneasy. You don’t need to look for happiness after those things…. but from ME.”
I was convicted and about to cry because I knew God has been jealous of me creating an idol in my heart. I knew God wanted me to want Him, only Him, as the main source of my joy. . .to please Him since He could just add those external things (career, etc.) if I seek Him first. —end of dream.
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RELATE: Yesterday, I was confused of pursuing another career-changing endeavor. Whether, it could really make me happy, or could make the matters worse. I was thinking about it much that it created in me uneasiness.
And God is an answering God, He’s a good good father. He never wants His children to suffer. He cares much of how we felt or what we think and mostly of what we do and say. If you could not agree with me, try to look at how He rescued the Israelites from slavery. Because seeing them hurt would hurt Him more.
I know I did not deserve it but God has been so generous, gracious and kind that He always grants my desires. I am just overwhelmed every time one favor after another favor just suddenly materialized, in spite of me being a PRODIGAL.
There is nothing more compelling than God being so good all the time, faithful and never changing in spite of how disobedient you are or how many times you failed Him, than you trying your best to do good but still fail.
Psalms 37:4, “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”
1 John 2: 15-17, “Do not love the world [of sin that opposes God and His precepts], nor the things that are in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust and sensual craving of the flesh and the lust and longing of the eyes and the boastful pride of life [pretentious confidence in one’s resources or in the stability of earthly things]—these do not come from the Father, but are from the world.
VERSE 17 : The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.
This verse has been resonating all over again in my ears, my thoughts and my heart. Yeah, then why do we make things complicated? When everything is just superficial compare to what’s coming then why do we make it hard for ourselves? Why are we pursuing those who are not lasting?
The last phrase: “those who lives, carries His purposes or will lives forever” is really liberating!
Sometimes as human we often say, “I can’t change him or her, I’m tired of praying for him or her, since I could not see any change …” This statement is not pessimistic nor passive, it is just surrendering our weaknesses to God’s strength or divine authority and supreme will. It’s like saying, “Lord, I can’t do it anymore, my patience has limitation, but Yours is abundant, have mercy on us.”
To God be the glory!