This chapter of my story might end up not here but there. My producer and director told me to prepare myself for another adventure in different location. Cebu is my mom’s hometown but when her late elder sister married a Chinese businessman they transfer to Davao City with her. Then, my mom met my dad and they fell in love with each other and bore two cute babies (that’s me and my sister) until they got separated and the rest is history.
Again my director and producer (the same person) told me to go back home, so who am I to argue with Him. I’m just his talent. Without Him, I am nothing. He started convincing me through His words, events and dreams. Suddenly here came depression. There were two poles hitting, opposing and yelling at each other, “I wanted to leave this place now!” “No, you must stay…you love this place, right?”
I arrived in Cebu on the 11th of July 2010 after I left my work in an airline company. Reason? I really don’t know why I gave up that job. I only remembered that I had an urgent desire to fly here to see my long lost father. One month vacation became three and counting until my dad suggested me to build my career and stay here for good. Three years is long enough to stay in a city which is still foreign for me. Good thing I found new friends, students, cultures and new me. I thank God for letting me experience all the ups and downs here in this place and for bringing every shade of colours—all mixed up. The fantasy becomes more vivid than reality. Days left can only be counted. The goal has been set. I won’t regret. I’d kill my emotion now…for a moment so that I won’t feel the pain, the sadness for missing it, for not asking that if, what if I never had decided to accept my father’s invitation. This place is my father’s refuge when he ran away from home to portray an image of how the son could possibly become a prodigal proving that it’s not only a particular story in the bible.
I believe in your words Lord in 1 Corinthians 2:9-19 and in Ephesians 3:20.
They said there’s no place like home. So if Mindanao is my first home and Visayas is my second home like there’s first and second language, then who can’t say we are to doubt the permanent dwellings. Yes, there are no permanent dwellings here on earth. All our eyes see are just temporary. When I arranged my closet, I found how full it was. These days, my forehead has been forming crooked lines. How can I dispose all this stuff? How can I get rid of these as if it’s no longer in good use but actually not? My sister’s voice was so audible emphasizing her lines: “See the consequences of your unlimited purchase (both useful and useless goods) had me nod in agreement that I have to worry (in the future) on how to carry all my things if I’ll decide to vacate. Or the next thing I have to think of is how much the cargo would probably cost me. No more cash count, just the load count plus the weight. And while planning (as if planning does matter and affect the descendants of Eve like me whose uniquely designed to be inconsistent and emotional decision makers) for my next trip, realizations suddenly propped up from my dreamy-active-inert brain.
1. I will cut down my shopping list from most important to least.
2. If I’m dead, I can’t bring to grave my properties. So the essence of contentment prevails. After all, I’m blessed enough. I never realized that God would give me possessions here on earth. And, in every blessing, there’s a bonus. That bonus is the thing you didn’t asked which God gave better than your wishes.
3. I will not build my own house here on earth since there is no permanent city for mere travellers. We all are. Typhoons, fires, earthquakes were not the culprit of this pessimistic thinking if you think it was. Our heavenly father already prepared our own mansions in heaven where fire, earthquakes, typhoons, rats and rust could not destroy. The Lord says in Matthew 6:19-20, “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in or steal.”
I won’t struggle to build my own house or even wish to have that fairy-tale palace, at all. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t suggest you to just build a box to call your home since as much as possible God wants us to enjoy the blessings he have for us while we’re still alive for His glory. But, guard your heart, know your priorities and set your limits.
God is faithful.
You can trust His promises (Philippians 4:18-19; Romans 8:28; Hebrews 13:5)
You can trust His timing (Psalms 37:7; Genesis 15:4)
You can trust His ways (Isaiah 55:8-9; 1 Peter 4:19; Colossians 3:22-23)
To God be the glory!