June 5, 2013 4:01 am
Last night I cried out out of frustrations to God, my deepest sympathy to China for the unending battles of Christians —their sufferings and persecutions from the communist government. I meditated and ponder for the rest of the world, the unreached and unfortunate souls for not having known God all their lives, not even heard of the name “JESUS”. While I was sleeping, some strange thing happened to me. I get used to nightmares but this was so totally different wherein I can hear a really audible sound so loud that it could almost break my eardrum. Then I could hear a man’s voice speaking in English. The voice seemed husky and pale but full of strength and command. While I continually lain on bed crouching in the drk, the strange thing continued up until 3: 40 a.m. My bed felt shaking. Later, I saw myself praying wholeheartedly almost crying when I’ve heard some voice again, this time I’m not certain if it’s of a woman’s or man’s, but I thought it’s more likely of a woman’s. The voice commanded me to be moved from my bed to the corner of it by the Holy Spirit/ God’s mighty power and so I did. I floated and slowly was moved from the other side of the bed which confused me if it’s real or was just a nightmare. Then, I was awaken.
I can’t perfectly narrate what happened to me but I struggled upon this and my body was trembled by the shaking (so extraordinary). It continued for a couple of minutes when I heard another voice. The voice was so frightening and the owner of the voice has dark face with a flat head with not even a single hair! At that moment, I am certain that what I’ve seen was the devil (Satan) interrupting me on my devotional prayer. On that very hour, the holy spirit is teaching, guiding and showing me the right way of meditating and praying not just by heart but from the deepest of my soul. I can hardly explain how great it felt…so awesome that no words can express! I just realize that if we are willed to do our own thanksgiving asking the holy spirit to fill us proved to be mediocre than if the Holy Spirit itself is the one wanting us to start, moving us to want HIM…of HIS presence. However, in spite of the perfect feeling, of bliss, entered the fear. It was at the depths of my fear that the devil took advantage, interrupting and trying to confuse my mind. It seemed that the two: “the woman’s voice whom I thought was my guardian angel helping the husky audible voice which I can certainly describe as closely similar to Jesus’ and other saints. With a foreign unclear English language, the voices helped each other battling against the devil over me!
To add more, my body from some time shook from an unknown bolt, so strong for my body to endure. Then I can hear some songs from a certain christian radio here in Cebu which made the devil get mad. He hated the Christian FM radio station. I can’t remember how the devil exactly beat me when I have tried listening to the songs and started singing. Nevertheless, I returned to sleep even I’m frightened that I must encounter what I had a while ago.
Now, this time after falling into deep sleep, was I certain that the pictures I vividly visualize was a form of dream since the pictures no longer happened in my room. I’m trying to recall as much as possible the incidents including me in an early morning, told my sister what happened which left her speechless. I’m so eager to have told her how powerful God is and how His holy spirit moved me physically since whatever it commands my body to do, it (my body) undoubtedly obey until the devil interrupted.
Still in my dream, I saw my auntie (my mom’s sister) with the rest of the youth in their church whom upon after her daughter song-led, had protested in a very calm voice to the youth telling them, “Your ate (pertaining to her daughter) isn’t happy of your disobedience. This was directed to the way they do it in their music ministry. This particular dream I believed is the answer to my the question of guilt that kept hunting me which involves my cousin, me and the rest of the music ministry. I don’t know how to start since as I remember the last time I opened my mouth to comment on something negative was the start of my downfall. That chaotic event which have had a chaotic effect on me especially on my spiritual life—chaotic because after my nonsense negative comment through a particular social networking drastically received feedback to the point of questioning me on it, wanting to prove me groundless of my comment. Somehow, my mom ease my guilt by admitting that she too felt the same so I should stop bothering myself. Right there and then, not knowing what to do, I cried and deactivated my account in that particular social networking site blaming it for causing me so much stress~ which in fact was I to be held responsible. The guilt continuously lash my soul so I ask for some peace of mind. I felt so stress and depressed so I decided to isolate myself from my friends, co- workers and even to my family. I tried to find myself literally “soul-searching”. There I find peace! I continue to read the Bible the sooner I developed it as a habit not just a mere obligation. Each page becomes page turner until I completed the Book of John for less than a week. Now, I made a vow to myself to continuously read the remaining chapters of the New Testament then The Old Testament including those I already read. I’ll do read it cover to cover.
Let’s get back to my dream. Another scene was in the street where I was walking. I saw a speedy car with a woman on it. Although she panicked at first on how to do U-Turn, her car was still able to manage it successfully after struggling against the possible accident.
-The end of my dream.-
The feeling of being reunited and having a communion with the Holy Spirit feels so good, but since I lack of prayer, I tasted how the Devil could snatch me at any time. Good thing before it happened again, I was able to loudly rebuke the devil with these three powerful words “In Jesus Name!” three times in a prayerful manner.
To God be the glory, Jesus loves me for allowing me to experience this event. He truly is an awesome and answering God. I find comfort and peace at his presence.
I had longed to have a vision of God talking to me again. No sooner than I expected have I received it. Unfortunately while I was lying in bed “the message” which almost deafened my ear was so fresh but as I slowly get into my sanity “the message” have grown unclear, foreign and couldn’t be understood. I felt so sad. It happened because I struggled, for not wanting it. Fear had eaten me up.
Lesson learned: If you pray, include in your prayers that you must be protected from all evils including the “Devil” itself. Though it wasn’t our first encounter, I can still feel disgusted looking into his image. Don’t be too confident that though you believe God is in your side , because as much as God is wanting you so much is the Devil over you. I really can picture out how the devil’s face had grown into rage when I prayed to God, sang songs to HIM and in return felt the Holy Spirit caressing my soul bringing it to HIS glory.
But the devil mustn’t be feared because as long as God is with you and your guardian Angel, your safe. I can testify this as true.
If it wasn’t by the help of the Holy Spirit dictating me on what to write, I couldn’t have written this as fast as a bolt hoping to have it done before the risen of the sun.
Finally, early this morning, my cousin (my aunties’ daughter whom I mentioned above) had touched me ending my agony of guilt. Her words may be so simple and and short, but it really moved me forgetting that we have had barrier a month ago. I was freed since God allow it. He just gave me some time to repent from my sin learning from my mistakes. (Jenny Nalzaro)